Bill Cosby Quotes

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"I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody."
Success

"Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope."

"When you become senile, you won't know it."
Age

"Advertising is the most fun you can have with your clothes on."

"Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home."

"My eleven year old daughter mopes around the house all day waiting for her breasts to grow."

"Parents are not interested in justice, they're interested in peace and quiet."

"Anyone can dabble, but once you've made that commitment, your blood has that particular thing in it, and it's very hard for people to stop you."

"You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything, even poverty, you can survive it."
Humor

"Poets have said that the reason to have children is to give yourself immortality. Immortality? Now that I have five children, my only hope is that they are all out of the house before I die."

"Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry."

"The truth is that parents are not really interested in justice. They just want quiet."

"Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries."
Age

"The past is a ghost, the future a dream, and all we ever have is now."

"Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge."

"Men and women belong to different species and communications between them is still in its infancy."

"The heart of marriage is memories; and if the two of you happen to have the same ones and can savor your reruns, then your marriage is a gift from the gods."

"I am certainly not an authority on love because there are no authorities on love, just those who've had luck with it and those who haven't."

"Civilization had too many rules for me, so I did my best to rewrite them."

"The essence of childhood, of course, is play, which my friends and I did endlessly on streets that we reluctantly shared with traffic."