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George Burns Quotes

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"First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down."

"Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere."

"Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made."

"Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples."

"If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age."

"Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed."

"You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old."

"It's hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty."

"Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle."

"I don't believe in dying. It's been done. I'm working on a new exit. Besides, I can't die now - I'm booked."

"The most important thing in acting is honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made."

"How beautifully leaves grow old. How full of light and color are their last days."

"I spent a year in that town, one Sunday."

"I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate."

"Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair."

"Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city."

"At my age flowers scare me."

"I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something."

"I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased to be anywhere."

"People ask me what I'd most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit."

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