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Jean Kerr Quotes

"I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin-deep. That's deep enough. What do you want - an adorable pancreas?"

"The real menace in dealing with a five-year-old is that in no time at all you begin to sound like a five-year-old."

"If you have formed the habit of checking on every new diet that comes along, you will find that, mercifully, they all blur together, leaving you with only one definite piece of information: french-fried potatoes are out."

"Hope is the feeling that the feeling you have isn't permanent."

"Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck. If you live through it, you start looking very carefully to the right and to the left."
Marriage

"Women speak because they wish to speak, whereas a man speaks only when driven to speech by something outside himself - like, for instance, he can't find any clean socks."

"Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything else in the house."

"The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain terrible."

"Now the thing about having a baby - and I can't be the first person to have noticed this - is that thereafter you have it."

"A lawyer is never entirely comfortable with a friendly divorce, anymore than a good mortician wants to finish his job and then have the patient sit up on the table."

"If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, it's just possible you haven't grasped the situation."

"Man is the only animal that learns by being hypocritical. He pretends to be polite and then, eventually, he becomes polite."

"One of the most difficult things to contend with in a hospital is that assumption on the part of the staff that because you have lost your gall bladder you have also lost your mind."

"When the grandmothers of today hear the word "Chippendales," they don't necessary think of chairs."

"You don't seem to realize that a poor person who is unhappy is in a better position than a rich person who is unhappy. Because the poor person has hope. He thinks money would help."

"I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets. It seems to me that they are wonderful things for other people to go on."

"Even though a number of people have tried, no one has ever found a way to drink for a living."

"Life with Mary was like being in a telephone booth with an open umbrella-no matter which way you turned, you got it in the eye."

"Adversity draws men together and produces beauty and harmony in life's relationships, just as the cold of winter produces ice-flowers on the window-panes, which vanish with the warmth."

"A man speaks only when driven to speech by something outside himself - like, for instance, he can't find any clean socks."

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