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Ogden Nash Quotes

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"A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of."

"Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore."

"Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else."

"Too clever is dumb."

"Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker."

"An occasional lucky guess as to what makes a wife tick is the best a man can hope for, Even then, no sooner has he learned how to cope with the tick than she tocks."

"Basketball, a game which won't be fit for people until they set the basket umbilicus-high and return the giraffes to the zoo."

"Sleep is perverse as human nature, Sleep is perverse as a legislature, Sleep is as forward as hives or goiters, And where it is least desired, it loiters."

"The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret; we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late."

"Progress might have been alright once, but it has gone on too long."

"The cow is of the bovine ilk; one end is moo, the other milk."

"Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them."

"A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick."

"I think that I shall never see a billboard lovely as a tree. Perhaps, unless the billboards fall, I'll never see a tree at all."

"Commitments the voters don't know about can't hurt you."

"People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up."

"Happiness is having a scratch for every itch."

"The trouble with a kitten is that when it grows up, it's always a cat."

"Door: What a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of."

"Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore, and that's what parents were created for."

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