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Quentin Crisp Quotes

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"Fashion is what you adopt when you don't know who you are."

"This school was on top of a hill so that God could see everything that went on. It looked like a cross between a prison and a church and it was."

"Men get laid, but women get screwed."

"If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style."

"The young always have the same problem - how to rebel and conform at the same time. They have now solved this by defying their parents and copying one another."

"There are three reasons for becoming a writer: the first is that you need the money; the second that you have something to say that you think the world should know; the third is that you can't think what to do with the long winter evenings."

"Health consists of having the same diseases as one's neighbors."

"The trouble with children is that they're not returnable."

"When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?"

"I recommend limiting one's involvement in other people's lives to a pleasantly scant minimum."

"I simply haven't the nerve to imagine a being, a force, a cause which keeps the planets revolving in their orbits and then suddenly stops in order to give me a bicycle with three speeds."

"To know all is not to forgive all. It is to despise everybody."

"The very purpose of existence is to reconcile the glowing opinion we hold of ourselves with the appalling things that other people think about us."

"For flavor, instant sex will never supersede the stuff you have to peel and cook."

"Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level."

"Nothing shortens a journey so pleasantly as an account of misfortunes at which the hearer is permitted to laugh."

"There is no need to do any housework at all. After the first four years the dirt doesn't get any worse."

"Love is not enough. It must be the foundation, the cornerstone- but not the complete structure. It is much too pliable, too yielding."

"An autobiography is an obituary in serial form with the last installment missing."

"Though intelligence is powerless to modify character, it is a dab hand at finding euphemisms for its weaknesses."

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