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Marriage Quotes

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"Never get married in college; it's hard to get a start if a prospective employer finds you've already made one mistake."
Elbert Hubbard

"The human brain starts working the moment you are born and never stops until you stand up to speak in public."
George Jessel

"A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers."
Grace Hansen

"Marriage is a mistake every man should make."
George Jessel

"Someone asked me why women don't gamble as much as men do, and I gave the commonsensical reply that we don't have as much money. That was a true and incomplete answer. In fact, women's total instinct for gambling is satisfied by marriage."
Gloria Steinem

"Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open."
George Bernard Shaw

"Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does."
Groucho Marx

"Marriage: A word which should be pronounced "mirage"."
Herbert Spencer

"Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband a month before she marries him and what she thinks of him a year afterward, and you will have the truth about him."
H. L. Mencken

"It isn't tying himself to one woman that a man dreads when he thinks of marrying; it's separating himself from all the others."
Helen Rowland

"The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin."
Honore de Balzac

"Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't they'd be married too."
H. L. Mencken

"A man may be a fool and not know it, but not if he is married."
H. L. Mencken

"Before marriage, a man will lay down his life for you; after marriage he won't even lay down his newspaper."
Helen Rowland

"Often the difference between a successful marriage and a mediocre one consists of leaving about three or four things a day unsaid."
Harlan Miller

"The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret."
Henry Youngman

"A husband is what is left of a lover, after the nerve has been extracted."
Helen Rowland

"Marriage: A word which should be pronounced "mirage";"
Herbert Spencer

"If I ever marry, it will be on a sudden impulse - as a man shoots himself."
H. L. Mencken

"Men have a much better time of it than women. For one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier."
H. L. Mencken

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