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Crimes & Dumb Criminals Trivia

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The words were tattooed across the forehead of Wayne Black, a suspected thief. When confronted by police, Black insisted he wasn't Wayne Black. To prove it, he stood in front of a mirror and insisted he was Kcalb Enyaw.

[Webmaster's Note: I don't know if the following individuals can actually be considered criminals, but, what the heck...]Three monkeys hurled bananas and crab apples at cars on Interstate 95, then fled into the woods, police said. Police believe the monkeys escaped while being taken to the state fair in Richmond or a circus in North Carolina. State Trooper Mike Scott was flagged down Sunday by a driver who had pulled over near Jarratt. "When I walked up to the car, it looked like a banana had been smeared on the side," Scott said. The woman told him a monkey had thrown the fruit about a mile back. "I started laughing," Scott said. But he drove to the scene of the attack and found a van and a station wagon on the side of the highway. "A man said, 'I know this sounds crazy, but a monkey threw an apple at our car,'" Scott said. Just then, something hit the van. "Lo and behold there were three brown monkeys in an oak tree throwing crab apples," Scott said. The primates jumped down, ran across the highway and escaped into more trees.

A Linthicum, Maryland woman, dressed only in bra and panties, lost her balance while putting down linoleum in her home and fell smack into the glue that was spread on the floor, according to Battalian Chief John M. Scholz of the county Fire Department. She became stuck to the floor (mistake one) but somehow managed to free herself after awhile and called the emergency number 911. When the EMTs arrived they found her sitting on her couch (mistake number two). She was now glued to her couch. She had crossed her legs (mistake number three). Her legs were now glued together. And they also found her cordless phone glued to her hand. Crews, using solvent-dipped sterile gauze pads, eventually freed her legs, hands and extremities. She refused to be taken to the hospital.

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